Mr. Lehman’s assertion is that kids don’t know how to problem-solve, and that’s why they act out in inappropriate ways. It’s a coping mechanism they’ve developed to force someone else to solve the problem at hand for them. What he does with The Total Transformation Program is help us parents give our kiddos the tools they need to solve their problems. The tools that promote responsibility taking and accountability.

Here are three of these techniques that can give you a firm idea of how simplistic and realistic these tools are in turning things around and quickly.

1. Make direct statements. Tell them what you want , firmly and clearly, then walk away. Don’t be afraid of appearing powerless. You’ve made your child accountable for his actions, and to him that’s powerful.
2. Disconnect. Stop communication with the child if they’re being abusive or disrespectful. Make it a power vacuum, and you’ll be amazed how fast things change. This is one that we’ve started using and I can’t believe how good it works. Communication should not resume until the child takes responsibility for their behavior.
3. Make the consequences task-oriented and time-limited. Use, as often as possible, consequences that are directly connected to the problem behavior, e.g. “you cannot use the phone until you finish your homework tonight”. Remember your child cannot be punished into acceptable behavior. They should be short term, not a prison term.

Lastly, don’t hold your breath!  Their problem-solving skills will develop. However, change and gratitude don’t come overnight. Later on, blame will be replaced with thanks, but it might be a while in coming.

A few good reminders – Don’t let what the child says or does in response to your actions change your way of handling the problems. Consistency is a huge benefit in parenting.  And don’t be too hard on yourself if you slip up. Remember this is also retraining a lot of our parenting behaviors too. One thing is for sure, you will get another chance to practice these techniques!

As you browse around this site, we hope you’ll find some effective parenting skills that will work for your family. As far as our family goes, we believe  The Total Transformation Program is the one tool that’s had the biggest impact on our household, but you need to find out for yourself. Click here to get it free for a limited time. All you have to do is order it, then complete and return the enclosed Feedback survey. 

You might be wondering if I’m making money by promoting this program, and the answer is yes! If you buy it after visiting my website, I will earn a commission.  The truth is, I tried it and liked it so much, that I decided it would be something I would feel proud to support and promote, and as a bonus, I get a commission if you buy it.