Parenting Allies – A Parenting Forum and Social Network site

We were thinking it would be cool to have a social site similar to Facebook just for parents – then we found out a way to create your own social network, so we went ahead and did it! We decided to call it Parenting Allies, because in today’s world parenting is a tough job, and we need all the friends or allies we can get!

So what is Parenting Allies?

Parenting Allies is simply a place for you to go and share with other parents. There are many areas you can participate in, or you can just go there to look around and see what others are doing. Like Facebook, you can have friends and be notified when they do something. There are many other neat areas to discover, too, for example:

Parenting Forum

There is a parenting forum that is devoted to conversation with other parents in a forum type of setting. With topics such as Teenagers, ADD and ADHD, Adoption and Foster Care, Parenting Products, and Helpful Hints there is a section for everyone.

Blogs

You can create your own that’s just visible to you, you and your friends, or everyone. Of course, you can read others there as well.

Videos, Pictures, and Music

Post your favorite videos, photos, and music for all the parents to see or listen to.

These are just a few examples of what you’ll find at Parenting Allies. Best of all – it’s free to join. Take a look today!

Focus Formula - Click On Picture For More Info!

This is our experience with ADHD natural remedies. We’ve tried several different things, and what we’ve found is that different things work for different kids. Medication, natural ADHD remedies, and behavior modification programs have all worked with our kids. This particular article is about ADHD natural remedies.

As it seems to be more common than we thought, 3 of our 5 adopted kiddos have ADHD or ADD. Our 15-year old took medication for 4 years, but in her “I am my own person” stage has refused to continue. Sadly, her impulsivity has got her into trouble some.

My 11-year old is now on medication and he does well and it has helped him with night time wetting as he is not sleeping so deep at night. Sleepovers are much more comfortable now for him.

My youngest is also in the ADHD boat. However, this is only one on a list of many health problems this sweetie has. He has cerebral palsy also, but it is his sensory integration disorder that makes dealing with his ADHD almost impossible. You see he cannot tolerate any textures in his mouth or smells out of the ordinary. His body physically rejects it. Unfortunately it took us a few tries of different meds before we discovered this (counseling fund has already been set up due to this setback!) was the cause of him not being able to take meds.

Believe me, I tried everything! Hide it in ice cream, sprinkle it on waffles, pushing it back on his tongue. He just couldn’t swallow it and he could definitely taste the bitterness. So then we tried the patch.

Since this is only available in the stimulant form, we had serious bounce back when the medicine started wearing off. He became weepy and destructive. That didn’t work either.

I did hear from a naturopath that caffeine offset the symptoms, so for 6 months this lucky kiddo got Diet Pepsi for lunch. (No sugar which would negate the purpose!) Saw little difference here. And I was nearing the end of my rope and the doctor said we may need to research other things that might be taking place instead of ADHD.

In a fit of desperation, I googled “my kid has adhd and can’t take meds”. Several homeopathic remedies came up! Hmm, maybe on to something here. So I did some research and decided to try a product called Focus Formula from Native Remedies. All natural ingredients was a definite plus. Downside, minimum 3 weeks to see results. We went ahead anyway.

The results? I just ordered my second bottle. My baby went from earning zero points for staying on task at school to earning 11 (the maximum). After  3 months, he is able to self start on his homework, stay focused on it, earn an average of 8 points at school and his frustration level is way down. The best thing – drops instead of pills. We put it in root beer, and he slugs it right down! He knows it’s in there, he even does it himself!

I am ecstatic and he is happier. Success in life has a way of doing that for a boy! If you’re having trouble and have the same “pill swallowing” problems that we did, maybe one of the natural ADHD remedies like Focus Formula is for your little one.

When I last posted, we were asking some questions (re: house rules, etc) that we felt we needed answered right away. Wrong! Those answers will come, but not before we get a whole lot of other questions out of the way.

Our new daily schedule

Life does not stop when you have a crisis situation in your home. Meals need to be planned and made, shopping needs to be done, house needs to be kept up, other kids need to be paid attention to. Many nights I have gone to bed exhausted, but unable to sleep. I wake up early and face the dawn telling myself “God has given me everything I need to face this day”. And He has and I do, usually.

Other Questions?

School was looming. And teenager activities were beckoning. We did need to decide how much leeway to give her based on the little we knew. I kept getting clues though. She tries to act like a teenager, but I see, several times a day, her real self – for lack of better words. She reminded me of my 10 year olds. Based on how we got to this hard place, bad teenage choices, we decided that she might not have the mental capability to make choices of more than a 10 year old. We opted to go from that standpoint. We only give her the freedom we would give a 10 year old. She has settled right down and seems to feel safe most of the time. No struggles whatsoever against the rules that apply for that age. Thank goodness.

So what about School?

We did not feel home schooling was a good option (due to some logistics in our neighborhood and activities she was already involved in at school). We cannot afford private schooling, but rode the fence almost up to the week before school before we decided. Then a good friend of mine told us she had just gotten a job transfer to my daughter’s school and we felt based on this and other relationships already established there with adults, she would be cared for. We sent her back. That too seems to be going well.

One Other thing…

We knew that staying busy would help her right now, not overwhelming but doing what she loves. Her self esteem is very low and she is depressed. So we set her back up in horseback riding (for free from a great family who has a heart for kiddos like her) and continued on with Taekwondo. She seems more content. We have also started some counseling with the local mental health clinic. And are continuing on the road to determine what (other than the obvious) may be causing these delays.

Plus, with school, I get a break now during the day and am sleeping better without the continuous stress for 15 hours a day. My husband notices my face seems more relaxed. I hope my attitude is too.

As you browse around this site, we hope you’ll find some effective parenting skills that will work for your family. As far as our family goes, we believe  The Total Transformation Program is the one tool that’s had the biggest impact on our household, but you need to find out for yourself. Click here to try it free for 30 days, and if you decide to keep it only then will you  have to pay for it.

Sitting facing the teacher for the umpteenth time, I was growing weary of her long litany. “Jack doesn’t sit in his seat. Jack doesn’t stay on task. Jack disrupts the other kids with his constant noise making. Jack doesn’t turn in completed work.”

This was hard to hear about my sweet 10 year old who loves to take things apart, wants to know what you are doing and why, and has a great imagination and is not afraid to use it. Why did I get the feeling that my square peg was expected to fit into a round hole? No exceptions.

My Exception

But he was an exception. We knew from the day we adopted him that there were going to be learning challenges. He was exposed to drugs and alcohol all his prenatal life. Though we got him right after he was born, much of the damage was already done.

We watched him grow and go to kindergarten. He was doing okay and we monitored sugar intake, red dyes and white flour. Reading was not coming along. But he was only in kindergarten. And a boy, which means development takes longer, right?

So we limped along until 2nd grade, when the reading and spelling issue was starting to glare. Along with some behavioral issues, like impulsiveness, low self control, and not quite fitting in. So we took the leap and had him tested for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, or ADHD (girls have Attention Deficit Disorder, or ADD).

The Test Results Were In

Both us and his teacher had to complete a checklist on behavior and academics. Hard to fit a kid into a checklist. But the results were borderline ADHD.

Options

The options were presented: 1st medication; 2nd stricter food regulation; 3rd creative behavior management. We opted for 2 and 3.

First, we had to learn what made him less focused. Noises in the classroom were a biggie. And in this day and age, classrooms are not the sit quietly type that I had. So how can we best manage that? We opted for an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) so we could utilize out of room resources to help with tutoring, more individual attention, and less distractions due to the small classroom size in our Resource Room. Not perfect, but improvement was noted.

Next, we employed a new technique that we had heard through a naturopath by using caffeinated beverages in place of medication. This was less successful and the option was mostly diet soda. Not our first choice for a drink.

3rd grade saw some improvement in reading, but 4th grade, he crashed and burned. Thus our conversation with the teacher.

What Had Happened?

How did things go bad so quickly? The school’s Resource Room teacher enlightened me. Learning is global up until the end of 2nd grade, she explained. The teacher directs the kids through most of the exercise. Cues are easily picked up from what the other kids are doing. And teachers are more tolerant with this.

As they move through the elementary grades, they are taught to be more independent and only instructions are given from the teacher. Cues are less evident and teachers’ expectations for working independently are higher. He’d lost his crutch.

Now What?

I was baffled. Until the teacher said the one thing that forever changed my dogmatic stance against medication. “The constant hearing of his name in a negative fashion has got to be affecting his self esteem.” We had started to hear him say things like I am loser, I can’t do anything right, I am a horrible reader. I knew that we were at a turning point for him. We couldn’t not try everything to give this little guy success in his life.

Medication etal

So we dove in to the medical field. Because Jack had an IEP in place at school and behavior was part of it, we did not need to do any further assessments. We started him on the lowest dose of Concerta and upped it every 2 days until we saw his world come into focus for him. Though the doctor originally said to continue increasing the dosage until he started of having headaches and stomach aches, then go back a dose, we felt we had found his level without the side effects.

Don’t get me wrong, insomnia and loss of appetite are an occasional occurrence. And this isn’t a perfect fix. But the relief for him being able to complete something from start to finish is noticeable. Or read and comprehend more is exciting.

What else can we do?

But we didn’t stop there. His tapping his pencil and making noises are his mechanism for getting himself focused. We educated his teachers, including the Resource Room teacher, that he wasn’t doing this to be annoying. It was a coping mechanism. This can even be a cue that maybe a quieter environment for a test or project would best suit him.

We are also in the process of pursuing training for the school in how not to point out these kids (i.e. classroom meetings) and their weaknesses but to find a work around that will help them to be successful. Click here to read an article with some practical tips from Dr. Robert Myers, a clinical psychologist with 25 years of experience working with children and adolescents with ADHD and learning disabilities.

It’s not easy being a parent…

But nothing is! And what can be more rewarding then helping your child to succeed, through whatever means are necessary.

As you browse around this site, we hope you’ll find some effective parenting skills that will work for your family. As far as our family goes, we believe  The Total Transformation Program is the one tool that’s had the biggest impact on our household, but you need to find out for yourself. Click here to try it free for 30 days, and if you decide to keep it only then will you  have to pay for it.